30 Day Media Detox, Week 2
Disappointments.
My thoughts have gotten louder and more intrusive. Maybe I'm hearing them more clearly in the new found silence. Sometimes I find them paralyzing. I just sit and listen to the never-ending worry tape playing in my mind.
I wonder if they slow down over time or if I have to do something about it. I know that they're showing me issues that I need to address. But maybe there's more of them now cause I've been ignoring them for so long and they'll calm down over time?
Suddenly I have so many worries. Should I just start solving them one by one? Or is my problem the worrying itself?
Too often I feel like I can't move. I stare out the window at the dandelions in the sunshine without really seeing them. And I worry and I worry and I worry.
Now I understand why people have so many addictions. To food, sex, alcohol, drugs, relationships, books, smart phones, TV, success, doing, doing, doing. If they stopped, maybe they too would be assaulted with this avalanche of worries?
Are these worries trying to tell me that I'm perpetually stressed? Cause I knew that. I have 80% of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue: sugar cravings, depression, weight gain, anxiety, skipping meals, waking up during sleep, headaches, low libido... Diabetes, I don't have. Or alcoholism.
And what do you do with stress? Do you deal with the issues that worry you? Do you deal with the stress itself, by relaxing? Do you do therapy? "What is preventing me from letting go of the worrying?" Or do you distract yourself from the issues? (Distraction doesn't work by the way.)
I feel like a mental cripple. Here I am, face to face with all my worries, all my anxiety, and what do I do about it? I don't know.
Self-help says, don't focus on problems, focus on solutions. I guess this is what solution based therapy is all about as well.
I have been writing this post for several days now. I don't understand what's going on.
Maybe I'm depressed. I took away the distractions and now I'm faced with all my real life problems and it's paralyzing. All of these things that I don't know how to solve. Mental health issues, physical health issues, relationship issues... I didn't think I had so many issues before.
Shit. What a life.
- My problems didn't go away.
I thought that the detox would solve more problems than it has. (Although it's been only a little over two weeks.) Actually with no way to distract myself my problems have almost gotten worse.
- I don't feel like I have more time.
I thought that I'd feel the time that I used to waste online as vast and endless hours to spend however I wanted. But I don't.
- I don't feel more creative.
I thought that more creative energy would be unleashed, but it hasn't happened so far.
My thoughts have gotten louder and more intrusive. Maybe I'm hearing them more clearly in the new found silence. Sometimes I find them paralyzing. I just sit and listen to the never-ending worry tape playing in my mind.
Suddenly I have so many worries. Should I just start solving them one by one? Or is my problem the worrying itself?
Too often I feel like I can't move. I stare out the window at the dandelions in the sunshine without really seeing them. And I worry and I worry and I worry.
Now I understand why people have so many addictions. To food, sex, alcohol, drugs, relationships, books, smart phones, TV, success, doing, doing, doing. If they stopped, maybe they too would be assaulted with this avalanche of worries?
Are these worries trying to tell me that I'm perpetually stressed? Cause I knew that. I have 80% of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue: sugar cravings, depression, weight gain, anxiety, skipping meals, waking up during sleep, headaches, low libido... Diabetes, I don't have. Or alcoholism.
And what do you do with stress? Do you deal with the issues that worry you? Do you deal with the stress itself, by relaxing? Do you do therapy? "What is preventing me from letting go of the worrying?" Or do you distract yourself from the issues? (Distraction doesn't work by the way.)
I feel like a mental cripple. Here I am, face to face with all my worries, all my anxiety, and what do I do about it? I don't know.
Self-help says, don't focus on problems, focus on solutions. I guess this is what solution based therapy is all about as well.
I have been writing this post for several days now. I don't understand what's going on.
Maybe I'm depressed. I took away the distractions and now I'm faced with all my real life problems and it's paralyzing. All of these things that I don't know how to solve. Mental health issues, physical health issues, relationship issues... I didn't think I had so many issues before.
Shit. What a life.
Moi Inkeri!
VastaaPoistaKiitos kommentista! Sä tossa vähän jo ennustat, mitä mä olen kirjoittanut (ja unohtanut postata) seuraavaan raporttiin medialakon viikolta kolme. Silloin mä tajusin, että mun mediariippuvuus ylipäätään johtuu kyvyttömyydestä ratkaista niitä konkreettisia elämän ongelmia, mistä säkin puhut.
Silti mä oon ehkä edelleenkin sitä mieltä, että joskus voi esiintyä sellaista kroonista stressiä, eli se ongelma ei ole, _mitä_ stressaa, vaan stressaaminen sinänsä. Kun pää on täynnä "mitä jos"-ajatuksia eli mielikuvia asioista, joiden todennäköisyys tapahtua on minimaalinen. Mitä sä tossa tilanteessa tekisit?
Ja mä oon muuten sitä mieltä, että taloushuolia voi ratkoa terapialla! :) Mua on ainakin tosi paljon auttanut terapia monien käytännön ongelmien kanssa. Koska siellä voi just puhua siitä, että mikä suhde on rahaan, mikä niitä ongelmia aiheuttaa ja estää ratkaisemasta, ja mitä voisi tehdä, että voimaantuminen oman taloustilanteen kanssa lisääntyisi. Mutta sä varmaan tarkoitat, että käytännön ongelmia ei voi ratkoa tekemättä käytännön toimia? Ja tästä ollaankin varmaan ihan samaa mieltä. :)